Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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