Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
