I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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