if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
