Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
