hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
