Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
