you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
