Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
