I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
