he thought i was a dude.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize