well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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