Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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