East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
