I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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