i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
