Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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