I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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