He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
