I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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