i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize