bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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