I don't usually arrange sex via text message
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize