I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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