And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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