The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
