Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
