My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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