CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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