So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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