last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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