Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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