i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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