he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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