Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
