So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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