Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
