i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
