There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
