sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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