I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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