I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
