a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Screwed.edu
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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