Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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