WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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