ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
