Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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