Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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