Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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