Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
