i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
NoShamevember. You game?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
