My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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