Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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