theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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