nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to walk on stilts...naked
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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