Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
