what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
