3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
