Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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