Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
