guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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