nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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