it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
